Hi guys. I’m coach Mimi here in the good guy corner. And today we’re looking at some helpful relationship lessons we can learn from a disco ball. It can teach us some things…who knew?
First of all…have you ever seen a disco ball up close? I was surprised the first time I saw one…It’s actually made of hundreds of tiny mirrors that reflect the light. I’m not sure what I expected, but that wasn’t it.
Anyway…I want you to imagine that this ball, this disco ball, represents you and each tiny mirror around it represents an aspect of your personality…one facet of your personality… or one little thing that makes up your character. Are you with me? Each little mirror represents one of the things that make you YOU.
Humans are very multi-faceted, right? We’re complex creatures and we’ve got all kinds of different aspects that make us the unique individuals we are. So imagine they each one of these aspects about you is represented by one of the tiny mirrors on this ball..
So let’s name some of these. Imagine that each mirror is labeled with the name of that part of your personality. There’s one for you being kind and one for you being angry and one for you being hardworking and another for you being lazy and there’s patient and forgiving and grumpy and loving and on and on. So as we rotate this ball around to all the different labeled mirror pieces, we can see more and more little details about ways you can be in your life.
Now we also want to recognize that we can’t see them all at the same time. We have to rotate the ball around to see all of the different possibilities. And this is just how we are as people, too. We’re not always showing all the parts of ourselves. For instance, we’re not showing loving and spiteful at the same time…but both of those are parts of our humanness. They both exist on our disco ball.
As we go about our day we act in different ways, right? Sometimes we’re being patient and sometimes we’re being impatient. Sometimes we’re being diligent and sometimes we’re being bossy. It’s like we are continually rotating our ball and showing different aspects of ourself. Whatever part of you that you’re being in that moment, is what shines out and it’s what people see about you. “John is being kind” “John is being lazy.” and so on.
So now we’re really clear that we have tons of different ways we can BE. And some of them are going to be a lot more useful than others, especially within our relationships. So I want you to start asking yourself this powerful question as you go about your day. And here’s the question, “Who am I BE-ing right now?” It’s kind of a strange question because of course you can always simply answer, we’ll I’m being me, whatever your name is. I’m being John. I’m being Kim. Of course. But more specifically you’re being one of those smaller facets of yourself. Which one of them is the light shining on right now? What part of you are you being in your relationship right now? How do you want to answer that? Think of the possibilities here “I’m being loving, I’m being generous, I’m BE-ing needy, I’m being dishonest, I’m be-ing hopeful…”
This is a powerful question to be asking yourself all throughout your day. “Who am I Be-ing right now?” The truth is that you get to choose who you are BE-ing in any moment. And when you recognize that you don’t like who you are BE-ing, you can make a conscious choice to change it; essentially, you can rotate that ball around and BE one of those more useful parts of yourself. Try it, ok, really practice asking yourself and noticing how and who you are BE-ing. This is powerful work that really matters. I’ll be back next time for part 2. I wanted to break this into 2 parts because I really want to keep these episodes short and simple. Don’t miss the next episode for even more lessons from a disco ball.
Until then, I’m Coach Mimi here in the Good Guy Corner.