37. How To Understand Your Wife Part 1: The First Obstacle

Do you want to understand your wife?
Is it even possible to understand her?  
Most men think it isn't possible.  How about you?  
This first episode in this series will get you started in conquering this elusive skill.
It really is possible!

For more help from Coach Mimi visit the website: thegoodguycorner.com

Transcript

Hi Guys, Coach Mimi here with you In The Good Guy Corner,

Today I’m beginning a series of episodes about How To Understand Your Wife.  Wouldn’t that be great to understand her?  Wouldn’t your life be so much easier if you could do that? It would simplify everything, right?  Well I’m here to help you out with this because I’m a firm believer that it is possible.

First of all I want to start by having you to identify your thoughts about this topic.  What did you think when you saw the title? What do you think about the possibility of understanding your wife?

If you’re not driving right now, pause this podcast and write down 4-5 things you think about this topic.  Seriously. What do you think about understanding your wife?  I know we just started, but push pause and grab a paper or text yourself a message with some sentences about understanding your wife.  You’ll have greater awareness if you do this BEFORE you listen to what I have to say. So push pause… now.  Yes, you!

OK, what did you write down?  Maybe it was something like these common statements I’ve heard from a lot of guys:

• Women are impossible to understand.
• I’ve tried for years and it does NOT work.
• She’s way too complicated for me to understand.
• Or how about this one: “It’s like trying to put together a 2,000 piece puzzle without knowing what the picture is supposed to look like.

Do those sound familiar? I’m guessing they do.  

Well… you may be surprised to learn that those very thoughts are actually the first obstacle to understanding your wife. I’ve talked about the power of your thoughts in previous episodes and this is a great example.  Your thoughts create your results.  If you’re thinking she’s impossible to understand, or that she’s way too complilcated, You are going to create the result of not understanding her.  Your thoughts are like a seed that you’re planting.  If you’re planting the seed called, “She’s impossible to understand.”  You are not going to grow understanding. You’re going to grow more belief that it’s impossible.

Another way of looking at this is that your brain is very loyal to you and wants you to be right about whatever you’re thinking.  So if you’re thinking “it’s impossible to understand her” then it’s as if your brain says to itself, “Cover up all the possibilities…we don’t want him to see those. Just show him the evidence that agrees with him.”  And then it promptly remind you about all the misunderstandings, frustrating conversations, and arguments you’ve had so that you can be right… and even strengthen your belief that understanding her is an impossible task.  Your brain is loyal… but not helpful when you’re believing things like this.

So…this is the first part in understanding your wife. I’m going to restate it in 3 easy steps:

1. Ask yourself, “What do I think about understanding my wife?”
2. Write down the thoughts that come up.  There is greater clarity that comes when you write your thoughts out.  You can more easily see that they aren’t facts. Especially if you take that bonus step of underlining any facts. So #3…underline anything in your list that is a true fact so you can see that everything else is open to you choosing to believe it or not.  

Doing these 3 steps will set you up for great success with the things I’ll be teaching in subsequent episodes.  It truly is possible to understand your wife, guys.  Start here and then be sure to keep listening for more.

I’ll be here next time In The Good Guy Corner.