45. True Confession: My Coach Showed Me I Was Lying To Myself

Even trained coaches have a hard time seeing where they are lying to themselves.

Join Coach Mimi in this episode for a true confession.  And learn about the clarity that Coach Cam brought her.

For more help from Coach Mimi visit the website: thegoodguycorner.com

Transcript

Hi Guys, Coach Mimi here with you today for a valuable few minutes.

You might be interested to know that I myself get coached almost every week. And I’m continually amazed at the powerful awareness my coach helps me see that I can’t see on my own. 

Here’s a recent example. In fact, it’s about this podcast.  Now I want to be clear that I absolutely love providing these episodes for you and yet, since I started it, there have been weeks and weeks that I didn’t create a new episode. And I was baffled and frustrated and burdened about that. 

So just a little background here, when I started this podcast in summer of 2022 I quickly did a bunch of episodes to get it started and then I decided to have a new episode drop each Monday. But if you go look at the dates of each episode you’ll see that that weekly consistency only happened for a few weeks and then was very inconsistent. For example I had only one episode in Dec and one in Jan, two episodes in Feb and and then one in March. With all kinds of drama and judgment in my mind along the way. Sheesh! 

Working with my coach, we identified what caused me to drag my feed and not be consistent. 

I had been thinking: "I’m behind. I need to make up for the weeks I missed. I’ve got to get more episodes recorded and uploaded and backdate them so that it looks consistent."

And then I would feel pressure and even dread and I would continue to put it off and not do it. 

Also, with some of the podcasts I follow I’ve heard them say things like, “I’ve shown up here with a new episode every week since I started.” I knew I couldn’t say that and I let myself feel defeated by that and judge myself. 

I’m a person who believes in consistency and I wasn’t doing it. As I got coached about this I started seeing that I had been believing it was a fact that I was behind and needed to make up for what I had missed. Coach Cam helped me see that it wasn’t. Wait what?! I don’t have to make up and backdate them? Really?

I also was able to get clear about how I was defining consistency. I value being consistent. Yet here I was using that against myself. And I began seeing that there are different ways of being consistent. 

There’s the consistency of doing something every week. And then there’s also the consistency of always getting back up and continuing even if it got messy along the way. It’s that one that is really the definition of consistency that I believe in. To keep going overall. That felt so much better!

It’s much more important to me to be consistent by keeping an eye on the results I’m wanting and to keep going after them. That’s a productive consistency, even if the frequency of any particular action isn’t precisely consistent according to a calendar. 

The result I’m wanting with this podcast is to offer free help for people who are struggling and suffering in their relationships. I’m passionate about that. I know I can help suffering people. I absolutely believe in the concepts I’m teaching here. AND it ultimately doesn’t matter what the technical details are about the dates or the frequency of when the episodes are released. It just matters that I’m getting it out there for you.

It’s quite silly as I’m seeing it now but that’s the thing, when we’re believing our thoughts are true and we’re not questioning them then they are powerful and we automatically go with them. 

A couple of episodes ago I taught you about my F-TEAR Formula, so let’s use it with this situation.  

The facts would be the dates of each podcast release: 1 in Dec. 1 in Jan, 2 in Feb, 1 in March. And those facts aren’t a problem unless I’m thinking they are. And I was thinking “I’m behind and I need to make up for what I missed.” Which caused my energy to be pressured and feel like dread. And then my actions were to beat myself up, judge myself, compare to other podcasts, NOT decide on the next topic, not record it.  And the result was to not have a new episode available and essentially to be even more behind. 

See how that works, guys? It’s not the facts that caused this result, it was the way I was thinking about those facts. And this is always how it is. Facts don’t have power on their own. It’s what we think about them that generates the power. 

Now I’m thinking something totally different about those facts. They’re still the same. Nothing has changed about the facts. But now I’m thinking that “What I offer is valuable and it totally doesn’t matter the number of days between episodes.”

Thanks to my coach Cam for helping me see all of that and how I was getting in my own way. I really did believe I had to make up for those weeks I missed. When I didn’t pause to identify and question those thoughts then I believed they were true. Turns out they weren’t. 

This is the case for you, too. What are you believing that’s not true? Where do you feel dread or pressure?  What un-true beliefs are likely causing it? Pay attention to that, question your beliefs. And sometimes we need an outside perspective of a coach to help us see what we’re missing. I provide this help for you too. Get the link to my schedule in the show notes. 

Alright guys, that’s what I have for you today. I’ll be here next time In The Good Guy Corner.